Mindset Shifts and Sales Success: Lessons for Every Entrepreneur with Alexis Caldicott

Adrienne Garland (0:10): Welcome to the She Leads podcast. I'm your host, Adrienne Garland, CEO and founder of She Leads Media, a global media company dedicated to the advancement of women leaders and entrepreneurs worldwide. I'm also an adjunct professor at NYU and Rice University, where I teach on the topic of entrepreneurship. I'm a mom to two wonderful young men and married to my best friend in college. Join me each week as I dive into raw conversations with remarkable, uncompromising, and inspirational women entrepreneurs and leaders.

Adrienne Garland (0:43): My hope is that these conversations and their advice will encourage you to put yourself out there and gain the visibility that you and all women deserve. We're all about stripping away the sugar coated conversations and moving boldly in the direction of our magnificent dreams. For far too long, women have been conditioned to soften their words, modify their actions, and show up in the world to conform to outdated at best and harmful at worst cultural norms and ideals. Why? To keep those who are outside of the power structures from gaining power, prestige, wealth, and influence.

Adrienne Garland (1:19): This has prevented women from being recognized and respected as the powerful leaders that we truly are. The She Leads podcast is here to shine a light on all the incredible women, to encourage us to show up, speak up, and showcase the amazing work we do, speak with confidence about the innovative and transformational thoughts that we have, and celebrate the positive impact that we are making in this world, both personally and professionally. So let's do this. Let's lead.

Alexis Caldecott (1:56): Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the She Leads podcast. This episode and all of our episodes are brought to you by the She Leads Podcast Network, the podcast network for women by women. My next guest is Alexis Caldecott. She's an international speaker, messaging consultant, and marketing strategist. For over a decade, she has traveled across the world teaching business owners how to strategically use events to get clients.

Alexis Caldecott (2:27): This is why she is on our podcast. She's often called the queen of event marketing, and her clients have generated multiple 6 figures in sales from single events with less than 50 people attending. Alexis, we have to talk. Yeah. She now combines her background in psychology, sales copywriting, and education based marketing, helping her clients gross millions of dollars from hosting or attending live events.

Alexis Caldecott (2:56): Featured on NBC, Fox News, CBS, the Boston Herald, and the magazine Think Seven Figures, she's also a media guru. So you can see why we have invited Alexis on the She Leads podcast today. Welcome to the show, Alexis.

Alexis Caldecott (3:14): Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

Alexis Caldecott (3:17): Well, I am so excited to have you here for a variety of of reasons, which we've just sort of gone over in your bio, which is amazing. So the She Leads Conference is has been going since 2013. We host our conference every year in New York City, and we bring together women entrepreneurs with experts. And I have to tell you that it is, super challenging, especially because event costs in New York City for venue and food and all of that are it's astronomical.

Unknown Speaker (3:52): It is. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (3:53): So I'm gonna be asking your advice on how to bring in multiple six figures, because I actually personally need that advice. But before we do that, can we talk a little bit about how you got into the whole events industry? Because you have a great background. And why did you sort of land here?

Unknown Speaker (4:15): Yeah. Well, I kinda fell in it backwards like most of us kind of are doing today. Right? I went to college for something totally different. Totally different.

Alexis Caldecott (4:23): I went to college for psychology and music therapy. I was going to heal the world with a song. That was my dream in my early twenties. And as I was on that journey, I met a business coach who became best friends with and she needed some help in her business. She was hustling her hiney off like crazy.

Alexis Caldecott (4:45): I mean, was doing well. I mean, she had a multiple 6 figure business. She was in the top percentage of people that succeed in entrepreneurship. So she was doing great, but she was so tired. And so when she called me, she is a very confident woman, very put together person.

Alexis Caldecott (5:01): So when she called me and I could hear her crying on the phone, I was like, what's going on? Like, what's happening?

Unknown Speaker (5:07): And she's like, I can't

Alexis Caldecott (5:08): do it anymore. I can't. She's like, I don't, I can't go at this pace anymore. I just can't. And I need, I need help.

Alexis Caldecott (5:14): And I was like, okay, I'm here. What's up? And I was a broke kid in New York City going to college at the time. And she's like, okay, I have a business proposition for you. I know you wanna start a business when you're done with college.

Alexis Caldecott (5:25): And there's this marketing strategy that I've learned about, but I just don't have the time to implement it. She said, here's my deal. I will pay you. I'll pay you for your time. I will pay your tuition into these high level programs with people that are making millions, 7 figures in a week in a weekend.

Unknown Speaker (5:41): I said,

Unknown Speaker (5:41): I will pay you to

Alexis Caldecott (5:42): go learn from them and then implement it in my business. What do you think?

Unknown Speaker (5:48): Sign me up.

Alexis Caldecott (5:49): What do you think that? Let's do this. Let's go, girl. So we did. And we implemented it.

Alexis Caldecott (5:56): And the very first time, long story short, we took what I learned from them and implemented it in her business. The very first time we hosted a three day event, she had about 60 ish somewhere it was so long ago, but somewhere between sixty and seventy people. And we closed 120,000 in three days.

Unknown Speaker (6:13): Oh my God.

Alexis Caldecott (6:14): Dollars 120,000 in three days. So we're smart ladies. We put that on repeat. We did that a couple of times a year and got better at it and better on it and word got out. And so people were like, Alexis, how are you doing this?

Alexis Caldecott (6:28): Her clients would come up to me and say, how are you doing this? Can you help me with this? And so, you know, I worked with her for a few years and just so many people were asking me for help. And I saw so many struggling, so many struggling to get their message out there. So many struggling to make their marketing actually make sense to love on, to support people, to a point where they're like, yes, I want to come to your event and like be excited about it.

Alexis Caldecott (6:52): And so I was like, I gotta do this. So I made the leap, started my own business with her blessing, of course. And the rest, as they say, is history. And so it's been my blessing to support entrepreneurs and business owners to create $5.06 figures in three days or less from events and their marketing.

Alexis Caldecott (7:09): Okay. This is so incredible. I mean, I wish that I met you ten years ago.

Unknown Speaker (7:16): If I had a dime every time someone says that, I'd

Unknown Speaker (7:19): be god.

Unknown Speaker (7:20): Yeah. I love it, though. I love it. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (7:23): This is so good. So well, I have to ask. So are you have you done any this is like a side conversation, but have you done anything with, like, music therapy and psychology?

Unknown Speaker (7:36): I mean

Unknown Speaker (7:36): yeah. Tell me about that. Just curious.

Alexis Caldecott (7:39): Yeah. Well, when I first started, that's actually the first business I did. And I think I did that business for about four months. And it was actually going well. I was starting to make money from it.

Alexis Caldecott (7:51): I had gotten so many connections from all the travel I did with this business coach I worked with. So it was snowballing. It was going well. But I found out that just because something is your passion and it's what you love doesn't necessarily mean it's what you should be doing for a business. And that's kind of, I think one of the lies is this is where we talk about not sugarcoating things here.

Alexis Caldecott (8:11): I think that's one of the lies that we're told as entrepreneurs of like, you you should be passionate every day about what you do. Successful people are not passionate every day about what they do. They're really good at what they do. Yeah. But what they're passionate about is what that business allows them to do.

Unknown Speaker (8:29): Oh my gosh. That is so well said.

Alexis Caldecott (8:31): Yes. The lifestyle. Right? So I was like Yes. I love music.

Alexis Caldecott (8:35): Oh, it's my drug of choice. Like, that's my coffee in the morning. I love music.

Unknown Speaker (8:40): Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (8:40): But it just was not what I wanted to do every single day for a job for an income source. So I still do stuff with it. I play with it. I integrate it with my events. I teach my clients how to use, you know, and then of course psychology always comes in handy with clients when they hit their stuff and they freak out.

Unknown Speaker (8:59): You know?

Alexis Caldecott (9:00): Yes. Of course. In handy. But That's amazing. This is such a good message.

Alexis Caldecott (9:06): I I teach at NYU, and I I teach both graduate and undergraduate students, and I I teach an entrepreneurship class. And we do talk about this, you know, because people get very passionate. And what I say a lot is like, yes. You need to be passionate about what it is that you're doing, but you very quickly need to transition your mind from passion to business. And you have to start making smart business decisions.

Alexis Caldecott (9:36): Because if you're operating from your heart and you're, you know, you're making passionate decisions, your business is not going to grow and scale as it could. So even if that means, like, bringing in someone else that can, you know, kind of give you that business perspective and you can listen to that person, that's what you have to do. But, I mean, often the spark is the passion. But then Totally. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (10:03): And I love that you were able to recognize, like, you know what? This is definitely my passion, but it shouldn't be monetized. We don't need to be monetizing all of our hobbies. No. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (10:18): Right.

Unknown Speaker (10:18): Mean what it was for me. It was like, you know, I was doing drum circles. Like and

Unknown Speaker (10:25): it was fun, but it

Alexis Caldecott (10:26): was not it's just not what I wanted to do. But that's such a good point. I call it emotional business management, EDM. Like emotional business management is like when people are only solely doing something that they're passionate about, then you make decisions from emotion like you just were talking about versus from, okay, let me look at the numbers. Let me look at the data.

Alexis Caldecott (10:46): Is this a good decision? Right? And so people make decisions from my intuition, from my gut, from my passion. It's like can play tricks with us. Like and emotion and motivation and passion is fleeting.

Alexis Caldecott (10:58): You're not gonna be passionate about your business every day. I don't love my business that I'm doing right now every single day. Be real. Like, there are days that I love it and days that I'm like, I have to get stuff done today. Right?

Alexis Caldecott (11:12): So be passionate about the impact that you have. 100%. Be passionate about the results that your clients get. 100%. But don't make business decisions based on passion.

Alexis Caldecott (11:23): So well said. So I I love this woman that you started working with that was a business coach. Yeah. She knew enough. She seems

Unknown Speaker (11:34): so smart. Nancy, by the way.

Alexis Caldecott (11:35): Nancy. Nancy seems so smart because she knew that there was something out there that could be learned and then applied. And she also knew that she was sort of at capacity. And I think so many

Unknown Speaker (11:52): like, the way that you

Alexis Caldecott (11:53): were just describing how she just said, like, I can't do this anymore. I'm exhausted. I'm burned out. I think so many of us can relate to that. I mean, I I feel, to be honest with you, that that's the point that I'm at right now.

Alexis Caldecott (12:07): I am burned out. I'm exhausted. And at a certain point, you have to bring others into your world to help you. As women, yeah, we're just like, we think we need to do it all. And as much as I know that in my mind, like, oh,

Unknown Speaker (12:24): I don't need

Alexis Caldecott (12:24): to do it all. Can get I still I fall back into that that trap, and it is a trap. It's a social socialized trap. You know? Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (12:33): I didn't give permission to to feel like this. But this this I just think it's so smart. So if you don't mind me asking, I'm just, like, incredibly curious.

Unknown Speaker (12:42): Ask me anything.

Alexis Caldecott (12:43): Yeah. So what what did she say? Go hey. Go learn from these, you know, multi bazillionaires how to do this. What what course was that or mastermind?

Alexis Caldecott (12:52): Several. I learned from some of the greats in the industry that I feel are some like the godfathers and the godmothers in the industry, like Lisa Sasiewicz, Callan Rush, T Harb Eker, Ali Brown. There's so many. So I was just a sponge. I just consumed so much content.

Alexis Caldecott (13:10): I did a lot with T Harv Eker, David Nagel, eventually Suzanne Evans. So there's so many that are just fricking brilliant and making 7 figures in a weekend. And I would watch and I would study and I would studies directly underneath some of them and just see what they were doing. How they were creating this content arc that just like people were just being so full, you know, with good, good, good, good stuff, right? There's a lot of events out there that's just, let's just be honest, right?

Alexis Caldecott (13:38): It's crap. Like the content is just fluff stories and testimonial after testimonial. It's like, give me the juice, like give me the good stuff. And so, you know, got to see it firsthand. Like, where's that that that balance of really good content

Unknown Speaker (13:54): Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (13:54): But still leave them hungry.

Unknown Speaker (13:56): Yeah. But still leave

Unknown Speaker (13:58): them hungry. So it's, you know, it's yeah. Sorry. Probably give you extra details. But

Alexis Caldecott (14:03): I love the extra details, and I know the audience loves the extra details. It's the stuff that we want. It's the information that sometimes is gatekept. Right? And we're not about that here.

Alexis Caldecott (14:16): Like, let's share this information so that all women can learn so that they can apply it to their to their own business. And that almost leads me into my next question. So let's say there's somebody that has a business that they're thinking that they want to do some type of an event to gain awareness. And and, also,

Unknown Speaker (14:38): I mean, you're not gonna

Alexis Caldecott (14:39): do an event, and you don't want to do an event and lose money. So how would somebody I'm a different story. I've been doing this for ten years. But what if somebody said, you know what? Hey.

Alexis Caldecott (14:51): I wanna I wanna go out there. I wanna do an event. I wanna do a three day weekend event. I'd like to make 6 figures from it. What do you suggest that people think about and do so that they can set themselves up for that type of success?

Alexis Caldecott (15:08): Okay. Can I go on a full blown rant about this? It's I hope it's gonna save someone listening tens of thousands of dollars, if not more.

Unknown Speaker (15:18): Beautiful.

Alexis Caldecott (15:19): There's a lot of people that are talking about events and telling people they should be doing events and the people they're trying to do events have no business doing events yet.

Unknown Speaker (15:27): Love

Alexis Caldecott (15:27): it. Absolutely should not be doing events yet. There's so many gurus. I'm getting goosebumps. There's so many gurus out there that are saying, do an event, do an event.

Alexis Caldecott (15:35): Anyone could do an event. Doesn't matter if you have no list. Doesn't matter this or that. There are things that you have to have in place in order to be ready do an event. Right?

Alexis Caldecott (15:43): Nancy, when she came to me, she was ready to do an event. She had a list of several thousand people. She was already doing great marketing where she was loving on people and educating them, giving them juicy content. She knew how to speak. She knew how to sell.

Alexis Caldecott (15:57): She has certain things in place. So, you know, when people say, Alexis, I wanna do an event. I kinda go through a checklist with them to tell them if they're ready or not. I

Unknown Speaker (16:05): love And there

Unknown Speaker (16:05): are people that have literally been waving a credit card in my face saying, Alexis, we're gonna figure this out. We're gonna do this. And I say, no. Put it away. You're not ready.

Alexis Caldecott (16:13): And I say that with love and I'll be here when you are and I will show you how to get ready, but you're not right now. You're trust me. Just trust me when I say your future self if you went ahead with this would come back to this conversation and say thank you and cry and hug me. Seriously, because it's why people have lost their shirt, have lost thousands, tens, if not more thousands of dollars with events is because, I mean, number one, you have to know how to sell one to one. If you can't sell when someone else one person is on the other side of the table, on the other side of Zoom, on the other side of the phone, you can't get one person to buy from you and get your conversion rate up to where it should be, your sales conversion rate.

Alexis Caldecott (16:57): There's no way you're gonna be able to sell one to many with a group, with an audience of people if you can't sell one to one.

Unknown Speaker (17:05): Oh my gosh.

Alexis Caldecott (17:06): So that's number one. That's one of the biggest ones is people jump ahead and be like, I just wanna do this because it's leveraged. Great. But if you're skipping steps, you're skipping steps. There's muscles that you have to build as a business owner before.

Alexis Caldecott (17:20): I mean, it's like someone who'd never worked out in in the past three years says, I'm gonna go do a triathlon tomorrow.

Unknown Speaker (17:26): Yeah. Right. Yeah. They're all in the hospital the next day.

Unknown Speaker (17:30): I don't care how motivated are. Do it. But Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (17:35): So, you

Unknown Speaker (17:37): know, you gotta know how to sell.

Alexis Caldecott (17:38): You gotta have some sort of you don't have to have a massive list, but you do have to know how to market because that that to me is actually the most important part of it. And and I actually jumped out of a large piece of the event industry because I saw so much of this happening that I couldn't sleep at night anymore. It was making me sick. Oh, no. Because I would see so many people getting into events, so many people teaching to how to do events because it's a hot topic and people will pay for it.

Alexis Caldecott (18:08): And there's no integrity. Like there's so many people that don't have integrity that won't say, here's who this is for, here's who was ready for it. And so I was like, I can't do it anymore. So now I focus more on the marketing side of things because that actually is the most important part. And it's what gets overlooked the most because yes, your content's important.

Alexis Caldecott (18:30): Yes. The offer at the event is important and how you structure all that is important. But when you do your marketing right, leading up to the event, promoting the event, they come ready to buy.

Unknown Speaker (18:41): You're right. You're so

Alexis Caldecott (18:43): ready to buy. If you do it the right way, all they're doing is going there that in subconsciously in the back of their mind or even consciously, they're like, I think I wanna hire this person. When they go to the event, it's kinda like dipping their toe in the water. Let me just check this out. Let me just I don't know.

Alexis Caldecott (18:59): Maybe. You know?

Alexis Caldecott (19:00): Yeah. Me see what this person really looks like in real life. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (19:05): Yeah. What do they feel like? Do I vibe with them?

Unknown Speaker (19:07): Do I

Unknown Speaker (19:08): get do they get knees? Is this like good? All the feels. That's really what they're coming for. So as long as you're a sincere good person and you teach good stuff, you could bomb your offer on stage and people will still buy.

Unknown Speaker (19:22): Yeah. Good stuff.

Alexis Caldecott (19:24): If you give good stuff and if you do your marketing right beforehand. So now I really focus more on the messaging and the marketing before the event with my clients because that's the most essential part. You can have a small list and speak on stages and fill that room. You could have a small list and get affiliates to promote and fill that room. You can so it's really more on the marketing.

Alexis Caldecott (19:45): They come ready to buy when you do it right.

Alexis Caldecott (19:48): Well, I think that's the key, what you just said that when you do it right because it's almost like you're

Unknown Speaker (19:54): Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (19:55): Priming the pump. Right? So they're they're sort of knowing what to expect. One of the things in the events industry and that I I always hated and that I think I almost pushed against too hard was the idea of selling and selling from the stage. I was so turned off by all of that.

Alexis Caldecott (20:20): You know, somebody gets up on stage. They're they're talking about something that seems important and interesting, and then it just turns into a thirty minute pitch. And, you know, it it just leaves you with, like, hey. I came to this conference to learn something, not to be sold to. If I want to pursue and learn more to buy something, that's on me.

Alexis Caldecott (20:47): But I didn't like the the speaker shoving their stuff down my throat. And so when I started my conference Oh,

Unknown Speaker (20:56): I agree with you.

Unknown Speaker (20:57): I was like,

Unknown Speaker (20:58): I'm not doing that at all.

Alexis Caldecott (21:00): And then kinda felt sleazy about putting any offer up there at all. And Right. You know? And just to be honest with you, like, I think that that's where sometimes my conference, even though it's filled with amazing content and people and it's like it's a humongous love fest, there's there's, like, no selling going on. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (21:24): And so that's that is like the other side of the spectrum where it's like just value, value, value, value. Yes. People pay for tickets. Of course, that's the exchange. But then there's nothing else there or after.

Alexis Caldecott (21:41): And Right. That has been a super big challenge for me in my business. So I I feel like you could really help me. You

Alexis Caldecott (21:53): know? Yeah. You're throwing the party. You gotta pay for that party and tickets help and sponsors help and and all of that, but still at the end of the day. So I don't wanna interrupt you, but yes, I definitely Okay.

Alexis Caldecott (22:03): Hear some Yeah. So I totally you're right. 100%. I totally agree with you. And it's a big part of, like I said, I got the x and I had too much x.

Alexis Caldecott (22:12): And I got out because I used to do I used to have a full service event company where we did the planning, we did the marketing, we did the management, we did the venue, we did the food, we did everything, and we had 50 to a 100 k clients and yay. Yeah. But it was a lot of work and it was stressful. And then there was just too many egomaniacs that were selling hardcore that I couldn't breathe. I couldn't deal with it Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (22:34): Because you're right. And they spoiled it for so many people. It spoils it. Yeah. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (22:40): And so now here's the thing though. There is a way to sell that people actually want because people come to an event because they want to grow. And part of that growth is there's always a next step. Yeah. There's always a next step.

Alexis Caldecott (22:54): And so people come to an event wanting to know what is the next step. Yes. They don't wanna get pitched. Right? No.

Alexis Caldecott (23:00): They don't wanna get pitched. But they do wanna be invited to what's the next step if I want it. They want that awareness of it. And so when you learn how to sell from that point of view and you learn how to sell like where you're just inviting people of, Hey, would you like some more of this? Would you like some support implementing this?

Alexis Caldecott (23:21): And you really are pouring into people and they're getting great stuff whether they buy or not. I host my own three day events. And when people come, people that have never bought anything from me at those events say they're the best event they've ever been through, been to, and that they could have paid three, they would have happily paid 3,000 to be at that event and they came for $97 Yep. Right? Because I pour into them.

Alexis Caldecott (23:44): And so when you do it in that way and you give some such high level content that whether they buy or not, they're happy. Yeah. People don't care if you make an offer number one for the most part. There's always one weird person or, you know, angry person at every event I feel like.

Unknown Speaker (23:59): Always. Right. The weirdos and the people that are angry and then the people that tell you how to do it differently. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (24:06): Totally. And and know that. Like, if you host events, like, please hear me when I say this. Like, anyone that's thinking about doing event, it's not you. Like, you people need to know that going in.

Alexis Caldecott (24:15): There's always a couple people that are just nasty, and they have some stuff they need to work through in life and they're just projecting it onto you. So don't I mean, it's easier said than done to not take it personal. Just know it's always there. It's not

Unknown Speaker (24:27): Good. Thank you.

Alexis Caldecott (24:29): Thank you. Side point. But the point is you are actually doing a disservice to the vast majority of the audience and robbing them of transformation and robbing them of a chance to take it to the next step by not giving an invitation. Plus you're winning money off the table and you put all this time and energy and effort into it. And it just makes like and the people that do end up stepping in and working with me at my three day events, they're excited about it.

Alexis Caldecott (24:57): No one's mad at me. No one feels like I arm twisted them. They're just like, this is amazing. Why haven't I met you sooner? Oh my god.

Alexis Caldecott (25:04): Let's go.

Unknown Speaker (25:05): Right. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I love this.

Alexis Caldecott (25:08): And it doesn't need to be a half day pitch. It doesn't need to be like, those long sales pitches are dead. Those don't work anymore. People tune out, especially if you're doing virtual events. They just log off.

Alexis Caldecott (25:20): Bye. I don't need to hear you scream at me your offer for three hours. Thank you.

Alexis Caldecott (25:25): Right. Make you feel like you are bad or not even bad. Like, just like Shane selling. Shane. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (25:36): No more SS. No more Shane selling for the end of year. More SS. Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Alexis Caldecott (25:42): Yeah. So what are the other questions that I'm kinda curious about? And I don't know what this question sounds like, but I I think this is maybe a two part question. First, so many women are uncomfortable selling. Right?

Alexis Caldecott (25:55): So going back to your point of, like, you need to learn how to sell one on one before you can sell one to many, that is a very scary proposition. That is mindset. That is trauma. That is socialization. That right there is such a difficult piece to overcome.

Unknown Speaker (26:16): And it's why you gotta work all that out before you do it on stage in front of an audience.

Alexis Caldecott (26:20): Exactly. And so it's it's almost like I'm not saying that even if you get it partially right that you can't be completely successful, but what are some of the things that you suggest for people so that they can build that sales muscle Mhmm.

Unknown Speaker (26:37): More because they need that. You're you're telling us, like,

Alexis Caldecott (26:40): we need that. And that goes beyond events. That's for everything in your business.

Alexis Caldecott (26:46): Right. I mean, a lot of it is a mindset shift. I really think it's like what we just talked about. It's an invitation. People want help.

Alexis Caldecott (26:55): Like when I buy something, I'm not upset at the person that they sold, sold, sold at me. Like there's this word that's got the connotation to it. It's like, I'm not mad at that. I'm like, if I have a legitimate problem and you're offering to solve it for me and it's gonna take your time or all of the acquired knowledge that you have or your team or whatever, yeah, I should pay you for it. Happy to pay you for it because you're gonna make my life better.

Alexis Caldecott (27:24): You're gonna make my life easier. Why shouldn't I pay you for that? So, I mean, it really needs to be this mindset shift around that you have a problem. I have a solution. Why would I reward you?

Alexis Caldecott (27:37): Why would I reward you for solving that problem?

Unknown Speaker (27:39): Right.

Alexis Caldecott (27:40): I mean, that's really all it is. It's it's an interchange and an exchange of I got a problem. You got a solution, let's make this work. It really is that simple. Like if you had suddenly you came up with a cure for cancer and every single cancer on the planet and someone with a kid who's five years old that's going to die in three months, you wouldn't tell them here's the solution.

Alexis Caldecott (28:05): And like, I'm going super extreme with this example, but like there are some people that the work that they do is so deeply impactful. Like I have a client who works, her whole ideal client is moms who have teenagers that are on the verge of suicide. Yeah. Ugh. There are some people that do some serious amazing things that have tremendous impact in the world, sometimes literally saving lives

Unknown Speaker (28:28): Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (28:28): Or just transforming them and making it better. So why wouldn't you say, hey. I have the solution. That kid of yours doesn't have to suffer anymore. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (28:37): I like I like using the extreme

Alexis Caldecott (28:39): money to put this solution together, though. Right?

Alexis Caldecott (28:42): It cost money. It was probably a lot of education, a lot of mistakes, and that all research and that all gets rolled into the price. And I think that that's also something. And it's a message that I I I want everybody to hear loud and clear. So many times women diminish their value.

Alexis Caldecott (29:03): They they even even when they have been in, you know, maybe in a corporate role or whatever for twenty years, they say, oh, I just started my business. I'm new. Okay. You might be new to that business, but you have twenty five years of experience that other people do not, and that is valuable. And we need to start standing up for ourselves.

Alexis Caldecott (29:25): And when people say, well, I can do marketing. I can do marketing myself. Isn't it just a couple of TikToks and, you know, Instagram ads? I could I could write the post myself. Well, go ahead and try.

Alexis Caldecott (29:40): Right. And and we have to learn how and I'm probably talking to myself. We have to learn how if somebody starts questioning, well, isn't it just a post? Isn't it just, you know, from your gut to be able to say, if you start asking me all of these questions about where my credibility comes from when I have thirty years of experience, you're not for

Unknown Speaker (30:05): me. Mhmm.

Alexis Caldecott (30:06): You know? Go find somebody on Upwork then.

Unknown Speaker (30:10): Yeah. Exactly.

Alexis Caldecott (30:11): And see the results that you're gonna get.

Alexis Caldecott (30:13): Yeah. Yeah. I learned, something from Nancy that literally was written out a postcard that stayed on my desk for years. And I highly recommend if you're listening, you write this down.

Unknown Speaker (30:24): I'm writing it right now.

Alexis Caldecott (30:26): I get paid the most for what comes easiest to me. I get paid the most for what comes easiest to me. Because if you have a gift I don't have. Yeah. I have a gift you don't have.

Alexis Caldecott (30:42): We all have different gifts. Of it's innate, some of it's acquired over time and knowledge and all of those things. And also, we only have so much us and so much time. Right? We have not invented cloning yet that I'm No, aware of, no

Unknown Speaker (30:57): thanks.

Alexis Caldecott (30:57): So it's like going back to that story when Nancy came to me and you said that that's such a powerful lesson, it really ties back to what we're talking about now because she came to me because that wasn't where she wanted to spend her time. She knew that she needed to be spending her time in other revenue generating activities. And she knew that that wasn't going to be her gift.

Alexis Caldecott (31:17): So smart. I like this Nancy lady.

Alexis Caldecott (31:19): Yes, is. She's a smart person. Would love from her. And so we have to think about when you're charging for your services or even just what you are doing in your business, what comes easiest to you? What are you so gifted at that would take other people hours?

Alexis Caldecott (31:36): So like when I do calls with my clients on their copy, right? And we're talking about copy and they're like, Oh my God, Alexis, it probably would take me three hours to write that email. And it just took you like two minutes to write that.

Unknown Speaker (31:47): I've got my gifts. I've got

Unknown Speaker (31:49): Yeah. Your

Alexis Caldecott (31:50): Right. Yeah. And it's not about I love that example because it's not about the time that it takes to write the email. There's this insight. There's this experience that goes into the fact that you can write something like that in two minutes that would have taken someone three hours because they just they don't have that muscle developed, and it doesn't make them a bad person.

Alexis Caldecott (32:15): It's just not what they they do.

Unknown Speaker (32:17): It's not their gift.

Alexis Caldecott (32:18): It's not their gift. Yeah. I really love that perspective. One of the questions that I also wanted to ask you just you work with both men and women on putting okay. So and, of course, this will probably be some type of a sweeping statement.

Alexis Caldecott (32:35): But do you, in general, see that men get it quicker or they get to you know, that they they earn more? Or is there a difference between the women that are hiring you and the men that are hiring you?

Alexis Caldecott (32:52): The only difference is men are just as insecure sometimes as women. I think people think that men have it made in a lot of ways. And I mean, those of you that are married or have a boyfriend, we see the intimate or the vulnerable sides, right? That the rest of the world doesn't. So I think a lot of men have better masks, right?

Alexis Caldecott (33:13): And here's the difference, they act in alignment with the masks versus women, we have a mask on, but the actions aren't as bold as the mask that we're

Unknown Speaker (33:22): wearing. Right?

Alexis Caldecott (33:24): So I wouldn't say that men get it or are better at it. I think they're better at faking it. And we can put some innuendo or a bad joke right there. But yeah, think men are better at faking it sometimes when it comes to business and they will just go for it. So I think men in some ways, the only advantage that they have is that there's been so many decades of men are the earners, men make money.

Alexis Caldecott (33:56): So I think they have that advantage versus it's only been a few decades really where women have finally been like, yeah, I can make money too. Boss lady, all that whole thing, right? I mean, just go back to their fifties. It wasn't really that long ago. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (34:08): So I think we have this, you know, passed on generational thing where men will go for the money easier than women will. Yeah. But women are catching up and women are freaking smart. I think in some ways, I mean, there's a lot of smart men out there, but I don't know. Sometimes I think the ladies, we got them.

Alexis Caldecott (34:28): Like if we were to just match that, got that. So I don't think that they get it. I don't think they have any, like, huge unfair advantage over us. We all just have to be willing to do the work on ourselves.

Alexis Caldecott (34:40): Yeah. That and exactly. It's exactly what I was gonna say. It it almost goes back to mindset. Right?

Alexis Caldecott (34:46): Like, if you believe it, even if you don't really believe it, but you act like you believe it and you go for it, like you said, then you are gonna probably get a little bit further. And I think that it does go a little bit to the socialization where maybe women would go for it, but we get so afraid of what people are gonna think about us if we don't kill it or if we stumble and fall or if we look like idiots. We we get so wrapped up, and men are like, screw it.

Unknown Speaker (35:16): I don't

Alexis Caldecott (35:17): care what you think about me. Right. And so that's almost like it's more of an attitude. Right? And and that is what we can learn from men.

Alexis Caldecott (35:27): And a 100%, I say this all the time, she leads media. It's not about the fact that women are better and men are bad. I do not think that at all we can all learn from one another. And I do think it's important to study what are the things that are working. We don't need to become men, but maybe there are some characteristics.

Alexis Caldecott (35:50): Maybe there are some muscles that they have that are stronger. And if we could develop those a little bit more, maybe we would get some of those types of results. And same goes for men. I agree with you. There are some traits and characteristics that women have that are I don't even know.

Alexis Caldecott (36:12): Like, I'll say magical. Okay?

Unknown Speaker (36:16): We are able to Charisma.

Alexis Caldecott (36:18): We we have charisma. We have this, like, in innate ability to connect with other people. We can see things, like, 25 steps down the road. We know what's gonna happen. And if it does, what can we do about it?

Alexis Caldecott (36:33): So I do think that we have a tiny bit of an advantage, but it's not been seen as an advantage before. But it is I agree with you. We just need to really, really, like, enhance that and let that come out.

Alexis Caldecott (36:49): Totally. Yeah. I mean, if I were to summarize it in one word, it's action, really. It's like you have different advantages, but it's action at the end of the day. Like I said, men wear masks just like we do, but they just take action anyways.

Alexis Caldecott (37:00): And they act boldly despite the mask that is hiding any vulnerabilities that they have or any insecurities that they have or any imposter syndrome or any of stuff. So if you take action, the mind catches up. Yes. So mindset's important, but if you take action, the mind catches up. So like I think about like because I grew up in extreme poverty.

Alexis Caldecott (37:18): I'm not gonna make this a long story, but extreme poverty. So every time I have created money, my family has never even dreamed of before. I have up leveled. Like even just in the small things of like buying a nice car. There's been a little voice or this little feeling inside of like, is this too much?

Alexis Caldecott (37:35): I don't know. This feels weird. Like it was uncomfortable. And it was my mindset. But then eventually you get used to it and your mind's like, well, yeah, duh, I deserve this.

Alexis Caldecott (37:46): I worked hard for this. And then a nicer house. And it's like, oh, I don't know. Like it's a little uncomfortable. I remember one time buying fancy curtains and curtains triggered me.

Alexis Caldecott (37:55): And I was like, maybe this was too flashy or these two curtains. So when I was taking the action, I took the action, the money came as a result and the mind caught up. So sometimes, yes, mindset's important, but sometimes if we just act despite how we think, despite how we feel, it will catch up.

Alexis Caldecott (38:15): This is your psychology background coming through loud and clear. I can't remember. Yes. I love it. You sound like a friend of mine.

Alexis Caldecott (38:22): I quote her constantly, and it's about fear. Feel the fear. Whatever. It's there. Feel it.

Alexis Caldecott (38:28): Do it anyway.

Unknown Speaker (38:29): Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. I love that. For a reason.

Unknown Speaker (38:32): It's true.

Alexis Caldecott (38:33): It's like I love that your mind will catch up with the action that you take. That is such an amazing mantra along with some of these other nuggets of gold that you have dropped throughout this whole entire episode. I'm so excited by you. I'm actually so excited to also talk to you after this podcast. Yeah.

Alexis Caldecott (38:55): She leads live 2024. Might have some Alexis magic in it. Woo hoo. Thank you so much. This conversation really pumped me up today.

Alexis Caldecott (39:07): Your energy is amazing. And I just I I'm so happy to share your wisdom with everybody in the She Leads podcast audience. So thank you so much, Alexis.

Unknown Speaker (39:18): My pleasure. And thank you for putting this together because we need this. Thank you.

Adrienne Garland (39:28): This and all of our episodes are brought to you by the She Leads Podcast Network, the podcast network for women by women. Thanks so much for listening to the She Leads podcast. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support us, please share it with others. Make a personalized post about what you took away on social media, and please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. This helps our guests and our show to continue to gain visibility and traction.

Adrienne Garland (39:56): To learn more about how she leads media helps women to gain visibility. You can follow us on Instagram at she leads media, or you can head on over to sheleadsmedia.com. If you'd like to network with me and other amazing women, don't forget to join us each year for the she leads live conference. Thanks again, and we'll see you soon.

Unknown Speaker (40:36): This is the She Leads Podcast Network.